Many of you do not know who I used to be. It’s not what you must be thinking right now. I’m talking about who I used to be from a personality and psychological perspective. I used to a kid who was sheltered from the real world like most children. I used to live in Saudi Arabia. I went to school, did my homework and played with my friends. That was my routine for most of my life. I had never known any severe hardships in life, thanks to my parents. They gave me a very comfortable life, and they still do their best to do so.
At the age of 16, we moved back to Pakistan. The cultural shock is when reality really struck me. Including some issues with the schooling system and many personal problems, this was by far the worst year for me yet. Because I was sheltered in the past, I never really knew the extent of what hardship looks like and when I did, it hit like a damn bus. It was hard for me to process everything that was happening around me. I was just getting through the days as they were happening. Each day I was just trying to make it to the next. Somedays I felt like giving everything up. If it weren’t for a little voice inside me telling me to continue onwards, I wouldn’t be here writing this article today.
That’s when I knew that I was put on this Earth for a reason. I will not leave until I have successfully completed my part in life. As I’ve mentioned in my previous articles that “I told myself that I would never give up ever again even if all the odds were stacked against me. I said to myself that I would fight all my demons, no matter what happens. I told myself “Don’t you dare quit!”.”
Intermission
My story does not end here. From 2016 to 2019, I had been through depression, anxiety attacks, chronic overthinking, and a lot of stress, also better known as A-levels’ years. Moving to a new school, learning in a different education system, and giving Pak studies and Islamiyat exams during my A-1 time was a lot for me to take in. I had to take a gap year after A-2 to give my A-2 exams. At that time, a gap year was not typical, and I felt like a failure. All my friends were going to Universities. They were getting on with their lives while I was still stuck in the past. The depression and stress continued to grow, but I refused to back down. I tried to look for a lesson in all my adversities, a sign, something to tell me that I was not going in circles. But the lesson was not to find answers. The lesson was to become resilient to adversities. Life was testing me for the future. Once again, I remembered that I was put on this Earth to do something great, and if life was pushing me every so often, it was preparing me for what was ahead. And so I got through my A-level years and got admissions to a couple of Universities.
I went to GIKI first, but I realized that it was not a good fit for me. I made some fantastic friends, but I knew that it would be just like A-levels. So I left GIKI and went to METU NCC. But before I got there, let me talk about the flight to get to Cyprus.
It was 3 am in the morning when I had started getting ready for my flight to Cyprus. I was very excited, but my face showed an absolute horror. I was afraid of my luggage weight. It was causing a little problem, and it usually would not affect me. Still, the stress of going to live in another country alone was a bit scary. Once the luggage issue was resolved, I quickly boarded the plane and settled down in my seat. I had a revelation “Holy shit I have to be an adult now”.
I think it was those words that made me who I am today. From that day onwards, I was doing all the work I needed to do when you live alone, but I was also focusing on improving myself. For once again, my life had a little peace and tranquillity… until the Pandemic.
I have to be honest. The Pandemic did not affect me as much as it did others. I was unfazed by it. When I got the email that University would be off for 2 weeks, I quickly told myself that this is an excellent chance to learn something other than the syllabus. So in those 2 weeks, I learned how to make websites, and I started freelancing. The joy I got from learning something useful was unparalleled to anything else. I also started reading many self-help books, such as; Think and grow rich, and the compound effect. These types of books gave me the knowledge I have today to be a better person. They gave me a new outlook on life once again. So this is Why I am the way I am. I hope you all got to know me a little better and I hope you learned something from this!